Leeds 1 Blackburn 1. The View from Behind the Belly

Batfastard · Leeds 1 Blackburn 1. The View from Behind the Belly

One of the best things about pre-season friendlies is getting a sneak preview at new arrivals to the club – especially exciting foreign signings who you suspect are likely to be a huge addition to the club. And today was certainly no exception – and I was delighted to see our new arrival warmly advertised on practically every pillar and post, both inside and outside the ground.

Yes, the jumbo hot dog served in a quality French baguette has finally arrived at Elland Road, though its transfer fee is somewhat questionable. At £2.50 I would have expected better. Certainly the French bread was of a far superior quality to our English rolls – it was lengthy, crisp on the outside and slightly warm and moist on the inside (though this may have been due to the vendor’s sweaty hands, rather than actual design of course) and its overall size was a significant improvement on previous Elland Road efforts. But again, Ken Bates has seen an opportunity to penny-pinch – no butter AT ALL on this huge piece of bread. It would have cost just a few more pennies and significantly improved the quality – but alas, Ken skanks us once more. As for the sausage, well it was certainly showumnian in length, but was a little thin and bendy and lacked the meatiness one would expect from such a pricey offering – so, overall, our new signing was a disappointment and I have to admit I was positively bored of them after my fourth.

As for the game, it was nice to see Premiership opposition at Elland Road once more. The last visit of Blackburn was in October 2003 (our relegation year) when we beat them 2-1 with two excellent goals from Seth Johnson – probably the only game in his £37,000-a-week career where he actually looked like a Premiership player.

That, however, was a distant memory. I always think pre-season friendlies come in two stages. Stage One is about getting fit and if we happen to perform OK as well, then it’s a bonus. Stage Two is about performances though and – hopefully – getting results. Today was, in my opinion, the first Stage Two match and – although results cannot be guaranteed against Premiership teams – I was certainly expecting a good performance.

What I was NOT expecting however, was to finally receive an answer to a question that has dogged football fans since the early 1990s. In fact there were three questions which have stood out about the Wilko era: One – was it just luck that all those journeymen players happened to gel at the same time or brilliant judgement from Wilko? Two – How did a title winning team manage to fail to win a single away game the year after? And three – was there ever a woman born on earth who was desperate enough to have sex with Carlton Palmer?

And it is this third – and arguably most important – question to which we received an answer as the teams lined up for kick off. There – proudly wearing the number 4 Blackburn shirt – was a 7 foot 3, 6 and a half stone gangly bloke with big ears, who looked so much like Carlton, he simply HAD to be his lovechild. Mystery finally solved.

Both teams fielded a relatively full strength line-up and Leeds were at Blackburn’s throats from the off. If anything it was us who were showing desire to take the game seriously – Blackburn seemed to think it was a stroll in the park at first.

We could have been 3 or 4 up after the first half hour. An excellent move carved open Blackburn’s defence and Delph coolly slid the ball past Robinson, only for it bounce agonisingly off the post. Moments later a deflected Beccio effort went for a corner, which caused panic in the Blackburn defence and Rui (I think) cannoned a header against the bar.

Other chances were created and narrowly missed, while at the other end all Blackburn could offer was a string of crosses, dealt comfortably with by our new keeper Higgs – and what a refreshing sight it is to see a Leeds keeper dealing so well with crosses – if the lad can stop shots as well, it could be curtains for poor old Caspar.

The majority of the half wore on in much the same fashion, with us continually creating and going close with chances and – right near the end – Robinson pulling off an excellent save from Beckford, while at the other end, Higgs was rarely troubled and our centre-half pairing of Rui and Kisnorbo coped manfully with everything that was thrown at them. Kisnorbo did miss the odd challenge or two, though this may be down to ring-rustiness – he only played 10 games last season apparently. He also had a bit of a set-to with Palmer jnr just before half time – I couldn’t see what it was about, but the Blackburn lad looked very angry with him. There again, I’d be bloody livid if Carlton Palmer had sh-agged my mother, so I don’t suppose you can really blame him. I was also very impressed with Crowe, who looks a class and a half above Frazer or Douggie.

I do feel Douggie was missed, though. Our one weak spot seemed to be the centre midfield where captain for the day (and hopefully ONLY for the day) was Howson, who played his usual play for 10 – go missing for 10 type of game. We really do need a ‘presence’ in that position and I’m afraid simply doesn’t have one. Young Carlton Palmer junior was quite dominant in the middle, despite having all the ball-control abilities of his alleged father – and this not bode well for Howson, unfortunately. Popular Leeds lad he may be – a central midfielder to guide us to promotion he certainly isn’t.

At half time we were well on top and, shortly after the break, got the goal we deserved. Robinson, who had been enjoying some great banter with the Kop, pulled off an excellent save to tip a Beckford shot round the post for a corner. The Kop chanted ‘England’s Number One’ at him, though as Beckford flicked home a rebound from a header from the resulting corner, the chant soon turned to ‘England’s Number Two’!

Blackburn went straight up the other end and forced the first real save of the day from Higgs. And boy was he equal to it – an excellent block from close range bounced invitingly to Jason Roberts who smashed the ball towards the top corner, only for Higgs to pick himself up and majestically turn the ball over the bar to complete a terrific double save. And I’m sure I’m not the only Leeds fan who wishes Caspar a very safe trip back to Denmark.

After about the hour mark, the teams began various rounds of substitutions, til eventually nine players on either side had been replaced. I don’t honestly think this last half hour deserves to be taken seriously as a match, so I read nothing into it, except to say it was a relatively even kick about.

Blackburn came more into the game, with Higgs forced to make a couple more good stops and Lubo (on as a sub) making some excellent tackles and blocks including a career-threatening one on El-Hadji-Diouff. Don’t get me wrong – it wasn’t dangerous or anything….. it’s just that when Lubo takes the ball off you like candy from a baby and moves gracefully upfield with it, it’s unlikely you’re ever going to get picked for the first team again. Sure enough Diouff was subbed moments later.

Blackburn’s goal came in the final minute from a penalty conceded by Alan Sheehan, who seemed determined to screw everything up for us from the moment he came on. Having already been skinned and hacked down Blackburn’s winger in the box only to somehow get away with it, Sheehan did the exact same thing again minutes later, only this time making sure the referee had a much better view and that the foul was even more blatant than the first. By rights he should have been sent off as well – but the ref was obviously in lenient mode as it was a friendly.

So one-all, but for the 60 minutes of it being a proper football match, there were many, many positives. We created chances, moved the ball round with class and defended calmly. An excellent 60 minutes which bodes well for the coming season.

Ratings

Higgs – 8 – excellent performance. commanding in the air and some good saves as well. See ya, Casp!
Crowe – 8 – solid at the back, good coming forward
Rui – 8 – some excellent tackles – good commanding performance.
Kisnorbo – 7 – as Rui, though one or two mistimed jumps and challenges
Parker – 6 – competent, but didn’t get into the game as much as the other defenders
Howson – 4 – weak captain’s performance. Not good enough, I’m afraid.
Delph – 8 – some majestic touches – looked premiership class
Snodgrass – 6 – some good runs in the early part of the game, but drifted out of it a bit later on
Johnson – 6 – competent, but didn’t get involved enough
Beckford – 7 – took his goal well and looked dangerous, but (as usual) didn’t put himself about as much as he could have done
Beccio – 9 – my MOM – constantly involved and looked dangerous throughout. Took the game very seriously and was rightly given a huge ovation when subbed.

Subs

I won’t offer ratings as there were too many of them – but Lubo stood out as being very motivated and wanting to fight for his place in the team.

Grella, who looked class when I saw him against Yeovil, unfortunately looked a fish out of water today. He was constantly out muscled by Blackburn’s defenders, who didn’t need to break sweat to have him completely in their pockets. Sadly, I think he will go down as one of those really skilful players, who didn’t have quite enough strength or toughness to cope with the physical side of the game.

And finally Sheehan – quite frankly this man must never be allowed to wear a Leeds shirt again. Not even indoors or at parties. We need rid of him pronto – has the potential to do more damage to our season than Bates himself.

Mark

Excellent read as ever..

Cheers for that BF thumbright

ImreVaradi

I agree to a point about Grella - however his positioning was excellent, he showed some very nice touches and the times he was brought down i felt would have been free kicks for sure in dangerous areas in a competitive match.

Needs a goal ASAP i think.

warringtonwhite

as always big fella its a pleasure to read

A VIEW FROM BEHIND THE BELLY Is probably the best match report anywhere on the interweb

though i think your being a bit harsh on young Mr howson i thought he was as effective as delph

perhaps your ascension to marydom elsewhere is starting to show through

though i thought you were rather generous to that useless lump sheehan

BF for the yorkshire post
BF for the yorkshire post
BF for the yorkshire post

referee69

Right, that's it... I've thrown away my season ticket and I'll just read Fat-lads match reports, loved the Carlton Palmer bit! Me and a mate were in VIP area of a club a few years ago and Palmer came up and asked if we were his minders for the night.... my mate asked him who he was... lmao.

Mark

Batfastard